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Literature Text
Drifting in little more than a whisper
isn't fine, nor tedious.
Wafting with the waves only
lifts you far enough to
believe in another side.
Though the crescented sky revealed
the sun's crimson shadow,
I repined that its tenor were mine.
Choice's vice held me to
my promise: wading
safely in the water.
Stop listening to the sharks
and glaze your eyes over
to the bodies facing down, lapping
up water until so gorged they bob
as bloated buoys into the setting
of tomorrow.
Both their eyes and mine are hollow,
chained to the ocean's floor.
isn't fine, nor tedious.
Wafting with the waves only
lifts you far enough to
believe in another side.
Though the crescented sky revealed
the sun's crimson shadow,
I repined that its tenor were mine.
Choice's vice held me to
my promise: wading
safely in the water.
Stop listening to the sharks
and glaze your eyes over
to the bodies facing down, lapping
up water until so gorged they bob
as bloated buoys into the setting
of tomorrow.
Both their eyes and mine are hollow,
chained to the ocean's floor.
Literature
Burning through
A calm day, shining sun
no wind blowing
not a clouds to see
up to the horizon
Then comes a gust
dust gets stirred up
blows past so fast
leaving just cold skin
shades behind my back
rise up from the dark
covering everything
like walls of concrete
the blue and stars
swallowed up in ashes
reaching for the sun
with choking fingers
seep into my head
strangling me inside
the thoughts i had
so free on wings
replaced by a whirl
devoid of colour
where cracks unfurl
drowning out the light
starless black night
as if stars had died
threatening to swallow
all of my world
Still far away
a blaze still burns
resists all the skies
that bo
Literature
the trees change
soft gray sunset
fluttering limbs like trunks in the breeze
banana leafs shuffle,
a yellow-green wave
dyed with the thought of rain
the blue of cloud and steel holding back
the bowl of blackberries and milk, a teaspoon of sugar
crosshatched where the birch-hairs twine
in overlapping lines scrawled above
the white bodies turn brown
stretched from molten crucible
into blown gestures
faint suggestions to the wind
the upside-down birdcages
unfurl near the brim
their arms splitting and
growing barbs like battle maces
when the leaves carve away
the paper bark shivers,
leafs, electric on the stem
the shadow from the trunk bleeds
and stains the b
Literature
Burn The Past
Hold my hand and lead me through this,
Hold my heart and save me from the pain,
Hold my lungs and keep me from the toxicity,
Grab my bags and take me to that old street,
Grab all the candles and keep them lit all night,
Grab all the cd's and put them on repeat,
Grab some drinks and lets make a toast,
Grab that lighter and burn that past away.
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This is about ignorance... my friend and I had a fun conversation today about "eps" and "neps". Apparently she had been told about them in the beginning of the school year by her teacher, where an "et" is a person who wants to live a life with more challenge and strife but with more reward/happiness/gain at the end of it where a "net" is a person who wishes to live an almost quiet life where life is easy but there is no particularly great ending to it/reward at the end.
Today (the last day of school aside from finals), her teacher finally told her class that the "eps" are Educated People and the "neps" are Not-Educated People.
I found this was clever and with neps reminding me of nets and thus the water I wrote this
Edit: I used water twice on purpose: "wading safely in what is being lapped up by the dead"
Specific questions:
What message did you get from the poem and what did you envision?
How can I make the piece more clear?
How can I make the ending stronger?
How can I improve the word choice of the piece?
Were there any lines you felt could be specifically reworked and improved?
Critique link for for #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
Today (the last day of school aside from finals), her teacher finally told her class that the "eps" are Educated People and the "neps" are Not-Educated People.
I found this was clever and with neps reminding me of nets and thus the water I wrote this
Edit: I used water twice on purpose: "wading safely in what is being lapped up by the dead"
Specific questions:
What message did you get from the poem and what did you envision?
How can I make the piece more clear?
How can I make the ending stronger?
How can I improve the word choice of the piece?
Were there any lines you felt could be specifically reworked and improved?
Critique link for for #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
Comments18
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Last line is so powerful. I find the "choice's vice" interesting - as choice is traditionally viewed as a freedom, but here it is of a choice made, and perhaps regretted...
I am still letting the words sink in but I will be thinking about your words for a long time.
I am still letting the words sink in but I will be thinking about your words for a long time.